time speeds up and slows down several times a day and sometimes i can not keep up, but usually my mind can, and it likes to go faster, or go slower. did i mention i was in los angeles? yes this is where i am. i am here because my bipolar disorder decided to rear its devil horns into my life and the collective THEY thought i needed to be locked away. at first i conceded, because i was too weak from the bipolar ride to protest or excuse or blame or think of anything else. but when i got to my mom's house, she told me that she couldnt do it. she couldnt do it because last time, twelve years ago, she was so scared of the zombie they had turned me into that she dragged me out of there AMA (against medical advice) and regreted locking me up in the first place. i am glad she told me this because i do not remember that at all. my mind recalls only a whirlwind of voices above my head and then walking outside in my new fuzzy pajamas. so now i am here at my moms house because she is doing better these days and she has cable. she is taking her medication and the occassional zanax when she is anxious. i notice that she takes more zanax when i am here.