words and lies and things cemented

when i was growing up, i would occasionally overhear the words 'there is no such thing as unconditional love', in the conversations of my elders, throughout the years.

today, i told someone that i loved them. i have often said these words, to many people, in many ways. and today, i meant them.
but today, in return, they lied.

today, i told someone that i hated them. i have never in my life said these words, to anyone, in any way. and today, i meant them.
and today, in return, a glorious silence.


all this to say, there is no such thing as unconditional love. as evidenced today.

and today, in return, i am going to be alone forever. because there is no such thing as unconditional love. and that is the one thing my crippled heart needs.

i've a bad habit

i get engaged a lot.
probably too much.

:/


(ps. but if i could, i'd totally marry one of the boys from "duck dynasty". what what....!)

oops.

damnit.

current mood: stumped/befuddled
current music: neil young - harvest moon